Dear LinkedIn, Parenting Isn’t a Career Break, It’s a Career Choice — Sincerely, Rose Consulting Group LLC

Has any parent you have ever talked to told you that parenting is “a break?” We’d like to meet them. If you are a parent, and even if you aren’t, you understand what a monumental task it is, especially to do it well. And what if pausing your career to enjoy motherhood wasn’t depicted as contrary to ambition, success, and feminism but rather as an empowered choice to shift focus, time, and attention to other interests for a period?

And while many people choose the admirable role of stay-at-home parent, Erica Ruggeri, the founder of Rose Consulting Group, shares it’s important to acknowledge that many people don’t have a choice. For example, “During COVID, a lot of people, especially women, had to get out of the workforce to be stay-at-home moms. They had to not just help with homework, they had to teach their kids. It wasn’t a break.”

Being a stay-at-home parent is unlike any other role you have gone to school for or had professional development on. It is the school of hard knocks, no matter how many times you have read “What to Expect” books or Dr. Becky Kennedy. How can a job that requires so much and is so important truly be considered a career break? How can LinkedIn classify the time you took to focus on your role as a parent as a “career break?”

That is what Erica was asking herself. Prior to becoming CEO of her own female-owned executive search and consulting agency, she was a full-time stay-at-home mom. When she went back on the LinkedIn platform after some time, she noticed the “Career Break” option under “Experience.” In fact, LinkedIn users’ work experience isn’t visible to recruiters and employers unless there is a continuous timeline.

Erica shares, “At the time, I was honestly so grateful that there was even that option to just sort of explain the gap for parenting, the gap I had between one company and another. But then, the more I processed it, the more it bothered me.” It certainly didn’t seem like a break to her, and she was learning more than ever. In fact, she explains, “It was a masterclass!”

Erica adds, “A client of mine reached out to me at the end of her maternity leave, and she never talks about ‘going back to work,’ only ever about ‘going back to paid work,’ and this is how we should refer to parents returning to the workforce.”

She adds that parenting is a multifaceted role that encompasses many skills often undervalued by society, but also many of the skills that large enterprises she recruits for are looking for in their executive searches. “Stay-at-home parents are not only primary caretakers. They are mentors, therapists, household managers, teachers, project managers, negotiators, and researchers to name a few, and they are constantly engaged in a myriad of responsibilities.” Erica adds, “And, you have to be able to pivot and adapt in real time.”

Stay-at-home parents are multi-tasking ninjas. They seamlessly handle multiple tasks with efficiency. In fact, one mom notes, “I look back on those years managing multiple children’s sports, extracurriculars, homework, teen angst, and being part of the parent-teacher organization, and I wonder how the hell I survived. But, I did, and I did it pretty darn well, and my kids are thriving.”

Beyond the traditional caregiver role, stay-at-home moms often act as mentors and therapists for their children. They provide emotional support and guidance and serve as positive role models who contribute significantly to their children’s development. They are their family’s support team and an empathetic presence. They are the emotional intelligence queens who have to navigate different personalities, motivators, moods, and needs. Does that sound a lot like leadership skills?

Stay-at-home parents are also teachers, project managers, and negotiators. They have to engage them in developmental and educational activities as toddlers. When they are of school age, they have to help their children with homework, plan their after-school time and summers, and take them on field trips. And they are the ultimate project managers. They find out what interests and motivates each child and provide them with the support they need, all the while fostering independence, self-confidence, and personal growth.

All the while, parents are negotiating. They are working to understand each child and their developmental stage. Parents become experts at treading lightly, not overstepping and micromanaging, while gently nudging their children out of the nest towards independence. Who doesn’t want a boss or colleague like that?

Of course, stay-at-home parents are not only tasked with managing children. They are also usually the maid, cook, chauffeur, shopper, pet care provider, launderer, and overall household manager which literally adds another 3-4 job titles beside her name. And, of course, don’t forget, they have to make time to attend their childrens’ events and activities as well. But, alas, there is no pay raise, not a golden nameplate, or any awards plaques or ceremonies. And not even a respected career title on LinkedIn. But, of course, the other rewards–healthy, adjusted, thriving children–are vast.

LinkedIn’s acknowledgment of “full-time parenting” is commendable. However, further improvements, such as continued refinement of the language, would move the bar towards recognizing the vast skills parenting requires. A shift in language can be the catalyst of a positive paradigm shift. It could lead to a shift where hiring managers and recruiters place a higher value on candidates who made the strategic career decision to focus on being an awesome mom or dad, or a paradigm shift where they see it as career development or maybe even, wild thought, they see it as a profession, and an admirable one at that.