Alleged crypto launderer Heather Morgan led a second life as the world’s worst rapper

Earlier today, the Department of Justice announced the arrest of Ilya Lichtenstein and Heather Morgan, who allegedly attempted to launder more than 25,000 Bitcoins that were stolen as part of the 2016 hack of Hong Kong-based cryptocurrency exchange Bitfinex. What was unclear to us at the time was that an even greater crime had played out across Morgan’s social media pages: her rap career. 

Spotted by NBC reporter Kevin Collier, Morgan — who performed under the alias Razzlekhan — seemingly spent all of the time she was not allegedly shifting around $3.6 billion in cryptocurrency shooting rap videos, leaving precious little bandwidth to actually learn how to write or perform music in a pleasing way. On her YouTube page, can find Morgan’s rap videos sprinkled in between unboxing clips and a review of 13 different kinds of aluminum-free deodorant. Morgan, the self-proclaimed “Crocodile of Wall Street,” states that she experiences synesthesia, which results in “art” that “often resembles something between an acid trip and a delightful nightmare.” 

We implore you to form your own opinion:

“Cutthroat Country,” embedded above, provides an overview of Morgan’s many talents as a rapper. Her delivery is tuneless, the bars are cringe and the accompanying music video isn’t much better. But the best part is that Morgan seemingly implicates herself in the exact money laundering scheme she stands accused of carrying out. “Spearfish your password / all your funds transferred,” she says in the 2:36 mark of the song.

But her magnum opus is perhaps “Versace Bedouin,” a “rap anthem for misfits and weirdos”:

“Always be a GOAT, not a god damn sheep,” she raps at the start of song. “Spirit of a revolutionary, power of a dictator / love to be contrary, but I’m fly like a gator,” she says later. What’s striking about both videos are the low-budget production values on display. Morgan and her husband allegedly laundered billions of dollars worth of Bitcoin, and yet it looks like they shot the clips on a shoestring budget. 

We could say more about the videos, but we think YouTube user Gudi said it best. “The Man couldn’t allow this much talent to roam the streets. RIP.” Morgan and Lichtenstein face money laundering and conspiracy charges. If convicted, they face up to a maximum of 25 years in prison.